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The bear I have yet to part with is "Sunshine Bear" which is a character from the Care Bears.
I was given Sunshine Bear in the 80's, my cousins who lived four houses down the street, had Sleepy Bear and Rainbow Bear. I often walked to elementary school with them in the mornings and afternoons when I was probably six years old.

I would say that seeing or holding Sunshine Bear is bittersweet. It reminds me of the good and bad times of growing up. He reminds me of my vibrant imagination, carefree days, and creative activities with my cousins and sister. On the other hand, he reminds me of the darkness that came with my mom being severely mentally ill and my cousin's father committing suicide.

I think that Sunshine Bear became a symbol of desperately wanting to hang onto the "good parts" of my childhood and forget the intensely traumatic parts. He has extra special meaning to me now and become an even stronger symbol in my life, in that my mentally ill mother suddenly sold my childhood home and moved over 800 kilometres away. This forced me to make some very difficult decisions regarding what of my childhood I would keep and what I would throw away (or donate).

Out of the many toys and trinkets that I was able to justify keeping, I chose Sunshine Bear among a few other doll sets and number of books that to me had sentimental and unique value.

Now that I'm nearly 30, have moved eight times in my life, and have lost my childhood home full of memories, I figure that I'll hold onto Sunshine Bear for a long time, if not for the rest of my days.

 

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